Dee Tozer has been a Couples and Relationship Psychologist for over 20 years helping more than 3,500 of couples work through their differences towards creating loving, lasting togetherness. Now based in Mt Eliza, Dee is perfectly located to assist with couples & relationship matters for Mornington Peninsula, Mt Eliza, Frankston & Melbourne’s Bayside locals.
Over these 20 years many, many of the people who came to see me for help with anxiety or depression, were actually caught up in conflict with their mate and it became clear that if I could help couples build a safe and sound emotional life together then anxiety and depression were significantly decreased and often disappeared. Most couples in distress have the following stuff going on: it might be put downs, hurtful words, angry reactions, vitriolic statements, raised voices, or even hurtful silences or walk-aways. There could be trust issues, jealousy, dominance and control or competitiveness. All of these threaten the emotional security of one or both partners and a fight or flight response usually occurs. Which means that one partner or both, will either fight, or flee the situation… that is walk away… or eventually leave.
In a love relationship we don’t usually bolt away in the other direction at the first sign of trouble. Instead we put up all manner of defenses and attacks to protect ourselves which, if kept up for too long, eventually fracture the relationship and it falls apart.
Over many many years my role as a couples counsellor and coach has evolved to provide couples with the learnings, understandings and skills which teach them:
- how to soothe each other and keep loving feelings alive
- how to recognize the cry for reassurance from their spouse
- how to break the resentment cycle
- how to remove the threat of break up and loss of family and loved ones
- how to dissolve the pain of feeling unloved or unloveable
- how to express concerns and talk to each other without destructive ridicule & on-going criticism and conflict
My starting point is to create the safe place for this couple to begin expressing their concerns in a non-threatening, non-judgemental, warm and friendly setting. Whether it be in person in my counseling rooms, Skyping on line, or via my online course. Feel heard and understood as I talk about the feelings you are probably experiencing which is what brought you to my page. The first session will put you at ease and help you find the initial steps towards sorting things out. Most often taking this first step starts to alleviate the overwhelming pain and you can see light at the end of the tunnel.
Find out more by clicking here to go to GetBacktoLove.com
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